but do you make tasty food?
18 August 2006
I reread BAD this week on the subway, and I thought I should note that the sign outside of Lite Bites & Grill, which is one of the first things I pass after I exit the Steinway Street stop, makes me not want to eat there. It’s not a question of tastelessness — it doesn’t have a Hooters-esque play on anatomy or an egregious misspelling, and the ads in its windows that make me wonder if the panini it serves are from The Big Panini Warehouse That Apparently Supplies Every Damn Lunch Place In This City aren’t even a deterrent. No, Lite Bites’ sign — in an “innovation” no doubt thought up by some well-meaning business school aspirant — proclaims “WE ACHIEVE — WE LISTEN — WE [some other MBA-ish verb].” Um, since when was making food about listening, unless you’re trying to make popcorn without burning it? And please don’t tell me that you’re achieving; instead, shut up about your internal report cards and let me decide how successful your food-preparation efforts are when I sample your offerings. I wish I could remember what the third verb was; all I know is that it isn’t anything like EXPERIMENT IN THE KITCHEN or BUY ORGANIC or anything else remotely related to the actual fashioning of anything resembling something I would eat. (Other peoples’ insecurities, you might know, are not really so tasty.)